Self & Family Care: The Second Three
My books, my work with my clients (people between the ages of 5 and 25), and my personal work are based on principles I have learned and observed as effective towards improving self & family care, “1-2-32.” I also refer to it as “The World According to Neal.”
“1-2-32” includes my earlier post, 1-2-3 (posted on Dr. Neal’s Corner on April 2, 2016):
- All of us, all day long are just trying to have things the way we want;
- The two primary sources of power;
- What we notice we can remember. What we remember we can repeat.
The second three consists of what I believe are three basic needs of all of us. We need to feel respected, recognized, and appreciated.
Respect as the acknowledgement of (I am);
Recognition as the identification of (I am Neal)
Appreciation as the valuation of (I am Neal. I am good.).
I use the first person in my above examples (I am; I am Neal; I am Neal. I am good) because I also believe that my capacity to take in these three things is determined by the level of respect, recognition, and appreciation I have for myself. Think of them as portals. If I do not respect, recognize or appreciate myself at all, these portals are closed; thus, it matters not how much respect, recognition, and appreciation may flow over me from others. I am unable to take any of it in because the portals are closed. As my self-respect, recognition, and appreciation grow, the larger the opening these portals present. Thus, self & family care enhance and serve each other.
The blue whale, the largest animal on the planet, feeds on krill (a very small sea animal) by means of taking in large mouthfuls of seawater. The whale then pushes the water out, and animals such as krill are filtered by the baleen, a bone filter system, and the krill remain as food for the whale. The larger the mouthful of water, the more krill for the whale. The greater my self- respect, recognition, and appreciation, the larger the portal. The larger the portal, the easier to get my quotient of respect, recognition, and appreciation; and I need to feel others’ respect, recognition, and appreciation.
As well, the greater my self- respect, recognition, and appreciation, the more effectively I can express/share my respect, recognition, and appreciation for another. The more effectively I can give another what she/he needs the more interest and willingness the other exhibits in helping me have things the way I want! Thus, self & family care enhance and serve each other.
The third (and final) three consists of three rules that have such power, when I follow them, I need no other rules to guide my behavior and decision-making. I will share them shortly.
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